The Indoorsman -- Faux pas in the conversation

I read a bunch of Valentine's Day newspaper stories last week, and doing that reminded me of a Valentine's Day story I reported and wrote nine or 10 years ago.

I was working in Ellensburg and the idea was to go to the Central Washington University campus and talk to students who didn't have dates. Sort of a single-person empowerment angle, or whatever. Pretty lame, pretty formulaic story. The only reason I remember it at all is because, after approaching about a half-dozen students, I still hadn't found anyone dateless for Valentine's. I started getting tired of going through the whole spiel -- "Hey, you got a minute? Sorry to bother you. I'm a reporter for the paper and I'm working on a story about people who don't have dates for Valentine's Day" -- only to come up empty.

So I skipped the spiel with the next person I approached, a young woman, and I just said, "Excuse me, do you have a date for Valentine's Day?" Her eyes lit up and I immediately realized two things: One, she did not have a date; and, two, she thought I was asking her for one. Obviously, this was embarrassing for both of us. But these things happen sometimes. When your job is talking to strangers all day, you will occasionally put your foot in your mouth.

I recall another time when I was sent to the midnight opening of one of those damnable "Harry Potter" films. My job was to interview all the superfans lined up around the block. I approached this middle-aged woman who was wearing a cape and went into the spiel: "Excuse me. Hi. I'm a reporter with the paper, working on a story, blah, blah, blah." And then I asked, "So which character are you dressed as?"

Of course, she was not dressed as a "Harry Potter" character at all.

"This is what I always wear," she said.

She seemed offended. "Oh," I said. "Of course it is. I definitely knew that. It looks really good on you."

Keep in mind, this woman was wearing a damn cape. A CAPE! That's what she always wears. A cape. So, while, yes, I admit the Valentine's faux pas was really my own fault, this one I have to say could have happened to anyone. It was awkward, sure. But even at the time I remember thinking, "That's not your fault, duder. This crazy lady is dressed like a third-degree wizard and she's at the 'Harry Potter' opening. And yes, that's just her normal evening cape. But there's no way you could have been expected to know that."

Anyway, like I said, when your job is talking to strangers you will on occasion say the wrong thing. The key is figuring out ways to smooth over those faux pas. You learn these things as you go and you realize later that, you know, you didn't have a Valentine's date that year either and you probably should've just taken that young woman out to dinner or something.

-- The Indoorsman