Dear Crabby -- Pajamas on a plane

Dear Crabby,

We are going on an overnight, international flight soon. I want to wear my flannel jammies. My husband is horrified. What is the current suggested and acceptable airplane attire? I think my husband is thinking www.peopleofwalmart.com and doesn't want to be associated with me. Help. Soon.

-- Southern Comfort

Dear Southern Comfort,

Oh, man, I'm conflicted on this one.

My first instinct is to side with your husband. My honest gut reaction to people wearing pajamas or sweatpants on an airplane is disgust. I know it's wrong to judge people based on their clothing, but if I see someone in pajamas on a plane, I can't help it, I'm going to assume a few things.

Among those assumptions: This person eats paste; watches "Cops"; has been on "Cops"; puts ranch dressing on everything, including spoonfuls of paste; listens to a lot of Nickelback; enjoys the "Twilight" novels; prefers Leno to Letterman; has filed for bankruptcy on more than one occasion; collects unicorns, commemorative plates and dolphin miniatures; and doesn't understand basic social constructs. In other words, this person is someone for whom I have little esteem.

So, there is that to consider.

Now, the other side of the argument goes something like this: You're not really hurting anyone, intangible notions of disgust notwithstanding. And, anyway, why in the hell should you care whether some uptight, holier-than-thou jerk you never met (and will never see again) holds you in something less than high esteem. Also, it's an overnight flight, so that should count for something.

So, like I said, I'm conflicted. In fact, you've touched on one of the dilemmas that defines my life and requires far too much of my mental energy. To put a name on it, I'm incredibly judgmental by nature, but I don't like that aspect of my personality. On one side, I think there has to be standards. Standards of behavior, of dress, of quality when it comes to things like music and film. On the other, I think standards for those things are inherently elitist. Further, I think the happiest people in the world are probably the people who never for a second consider society's standards and instead just do what they want to.

Ultimately, I think it comes down to how much you care about what other people think. If you wear your jammies on a plane, people will judge you for it. That's not an opinion; it's a fact. If that bothers you -- or if it bothers your husband and THAT bothers you -- then don't wear them. If you're OK with that, wear them. And, if that's the case, I both envy you and am appalled by you.

Hope that helps.

Sincerely,

Crabby

* If you have a question for Dear Crabby, email it with the subject line "Dear Crabby" to On magazine lead writer Pat Muir at pmuir@yakimaherald.com. We'll keep your name anonymous and do our best to give you some truly horrible advice.