College football bowl game parties -- A handy guide

Smear on some eye-black, get some soda and beer on ice and fire up the deep fryer; it's college football bowl season.

There are 34 bowl games this year, ranging from Saturday's New Mexico Bowl in Albuquerque all the way up to the BCS National Championship Game on Jan. 7. And On magazine is here to help you plan for them, whether you see these games as the culmination of a season's worth of football rooting or just another excuse to bring friends together.

We've scoured the Internet for recipes, decorating tips and other entertaining advice sure to make your party the talk of the neighborhood. We've also got tips on being a good football party guest, pretending to know more than you do about football, and what to do if you have a small TV. (Hint: Don't host a football party.)

The food

The most important thing at any football party is the food -- what, you thought it was the football? It can make or break your party, but don't worry; it doesn't have to be all that difficult.

You don't have to cook a sit-down meal and you shouldn't have to serve anyone. What you want is the kind of food that can satisfy football fans' appetites without making them take their eyes off the TV. Basically, you're going to need a whole mess of finger foods. Generally the assortment includes chicken wings, nachos, chips, dip, beer, soda, veggie sticks, more dip, some kind of cake or candy and, if you're smart, a bottle of Tums.

Deciding just what to serve will depend on your personal taste and that of your guests. It's best to have a variety, of course, so that the vegetarians and dieters aren't left staring at a platter of bacon-wrapped sausages stuffed with bacon. To help guide you in that direction, we've got recipes for On Magazine Nachos and On Magazine Vegetarian Seven-Layer Bean Dip (see sidebar).

Or go a different way entirely

Every New Year's Day, my parents invite friends over for a Rose Bowl open house, and they serve soup. They always have a couple of pots simmering, and they do it self-serve style. You just make some chili and some chicken soup, buy a sleeve of plastic bowls, set out some bread and let people help themselves. It's great on a cold day.

The beverages

If all those commercials are to be believed, the only thing football fans love more than chicken wings is beer -- they love football third, apparently. Indeed, it is the classic pairing.

But unlike the body-painted fat guy or the sexy twins dressed like referees in those commercials, you have the advantage of living in the heart of the U.S. beer industry. Most of the country's hops come from the Yakima Valley and the microbrew revolution began here. So use that to your party's advantage.

Yakima Craft Brewing, Ellensburg's Iron Horse Brewery and Sunnyside's Snipes Mountain Brewery all sell beer in six-packs through local retailers. For the cold days of the football bowl season, On magazine unreservedly recommends Quilter's Irish Death by Iron Horse, Coyote Moon Brown Ale by Snipes, and Twin Stag Scottish Ale by Yakima Craft. They're all dark, full-bodied brews.

Remember, too, that you've got to have something on hand for minors and adults who don't want to, or aren't supposed to, drink beer. It's important that your offering here be more than a token, so ditch the 2-liter bottle of generic cola. What you want are "microbrewed" sodas. Go local with the always-delicious Folklore Foods brand out of Toppenish.

Or go a different way entirely

If you have a punch bowl, a football party is the perfect time to use it. Here's my recipe for "Michigan State is Losing Another Bowl Game Punch": Mix one fifth of Meyer's Dark Rum with the juice of three limes and five bottles of ginger beer or ginger ale. Float ice-molds made of ginger beer with flecks of fresh mint. Serve in a large punch bowl.

The set-up

There are at least a dozen sets of instructions online for decorating your serving table like a football field. They generally include green felt, miniature goal posts and football-player figurines. On magazine cannot imagine how this adds to anyone's enjoyment of the game and recommends skipping this step entirely and just putting a bunch of food out instead. But that doesn't mean you don't have to consider a few things in terms of set-up.

You're going to need a place for everyone to sit. All of these seats must have a clear sight-line to the TV. You should have a large TV; if you don't have one, you should rent one or go to someone else's house. Nobody wants to huddle around your 16-inch TV.

Or go a different way entirely

If you think people may actually appreciate football-themed decorations, then go for it. Buy football paper plates, cover your end tables with referee-stripe tablecloths and get yourself some miniature goal posts to put right next to the nachos.

The etiquette

It doesn't matter whether you're the guy who can diagram a halfback trap or the guy who doesn't know a first down from a fumble; it's likely this time of year that you'll be at a party where people are watching the game.

There is etiquette involved here. If you're not interested in the game, that's fine. But that doesn't mean you should spend the entire football party urging the host to change it to "The Real Housewives of Orange County."

Those of you who are into the game, don't get too into it. If you scream and throw things, you may be asked to leave. So don't do that until after the game is over.

Or go a different way entirely

Fake it. So you don't know football. So what? Most of the people you're watching with probably don't either. They're faking it. Here are some hints: Whenever there's a replay on a controversial catch, say something like, "I don't think he ever really had possession." When someone makes a particularly vicious hit, say, "He just went Lawrence Taylor on that guy!" When a running back makes a nice move, say, "He looks like Barry Sanders out there." If anyone catches on, excuse yourself and go get some nachos.

* Pat Muir can be reached at 509-577-7693 or pmuir@yakimaherald.com.