Face the music -- Noise ordinance is unenforceable

This editorial appears in the October 6, 2009, Yakima Herald-Republic.

City Council members in Union Gap probably didn't know it at the time, but they relied on a famous line from Shakespeare for inspiration when they passed a new ordinance fining people who blast loud music out of their car sound systems.

The new civil infraction, passed unanimously by the council, is directed at those decibel-detonating stereo systems that are, as Shakespeare well noted in "Macbeth," "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

It would appear Union Gap wants to bring back the bucolic days of yesteryear when sound systems consisted of tiny car radios with speakers so weak that back-seat passengers had to crane their necks forward just to hear the music. What the council wants to curb are those annoying car stereos with 500-watt boosters that disrupt quiet neighborhoods with sound waves that rattle windowpanes a block away.

The law defines violators as those who play music from a vehicle that can be heard 50 feet away. The city wants to make this a "zero tolerance" law and slap a miscreant with a $250 fine.

All we can say is: Good luck. While we are sympathetic to the plight of Union Gap residents who are battered with ear-splitting music, we wonder how the police will be able to enforce this. Just hearing a loud sound system won't bring swift justice.

What happens when the violator drives off after the homeowner dials 9-1-1? What are the police to do? Race after them? Noise traps will have to be set up just like the police do with speed traps along busy thoroughfares. That takes time, extra personnel and money.

Perhaps the only way to fight fire is with fire. May we suggest Barry Manilow? Since most of these loud car stereo systems seem to blare out hip-hop type music, why not counter that sound with an ear-splitting reply -- Manilow singing "Mandy" or "Copacabana"? Or how about Engelbert Humperdinck crooning "Release Me"?

If those don't work, several reprises of Wayne Newton's "Danke Schoen" should do the trick. It's worth a try. Several large signs declaring the area a "sound-free zone" may also dissuade potential violators.

But saddling police with the task? Look at what's happened with prohibitions against drivers using cell phones. Another law that Shakespeare would say is "full of sound and fury, signifying nothing."

* Members of the Yakima Herald-Republic editorial board are Michael Shepard, Bob Crider, Spencer Hatton and Karen Troianello.