I remember a few years back when some NBA player got all upset after his bad behavior was pointed out, along with the fact that kids looked up to him. He was a role model.

"I don't want to be a role model," he retorted.

Too bad. The fact is that like it or not, kids look up to bigger kids, sports figures, rock stars and sometimes even us parents. So it makes sense to consider what we say and do around our children, and to help our kids learn that they too need to be aware of their actions and words, especially as they get older.

This thought was brought home a few weeks ago after our youngest, Jack, returned from skateboarding with Sam, our neighbor. Sam is four years older than Jack, but they have played together for years, and Sam still enjoys messing around with him. On this particular day, Sam had a friend over, and the three of them were practicing their skateboarding skills.

When Jack came home an hour later, he explained to me that his board had broken, but that Sam's friend was going to give him a spare one he had at home.

I think I replied, "Oh, that's nice of him."

I was a little surprised when Sam's mom, Joyce, came over to visit later on. She asked about the board, and then told me what really happened.

Apparently, things in the driveway had gotten a little slow, and Sam's guest -- noticing how old and beat up Jack's board was -- asked Jack if they could snap it ... like, in half.

Jack looked up at these big guys, the cool bigger boys who were actually spending time and letting him hang with them and replied, "Sure." So they did.

Perhaps there were tears at this point, as Jack realized his board was useless, because Joyce became involved, and that's when Sam's friend suggested he replace the broken board with a spare from his home.

Joyce shared with me that when she asked Sam about the incident later, he initially didn't really see the problem. They had asked permission and Jack had agreed. So she pointed out how much younger Jack is, and reminded Sam how excited he used to get when he got to hang with his older cousins (clearly, a couple of the coolest guys around). She told him that if those cousins had told little Sam to jump off the roof, he probably would have, because they were bigger boys and very cool and they were playing with him.

Sam understood then. He adores his older cousins. They were, and are, a couple of his role models.

"Jack looks up to you, Sam," Joyce told him. "You need to look out for him, and remember how much younger he is."

What an important lesson this is for kids! When they're little, our kids are like thirsty sponges, always looking and soaking in what they see. Behaviors, words, clothing styles ... everything has the potential to be emulated and repeated by the little people in our lives.

In high school, I had a coach who wanted to teach all us girls this same lesson. She gave us this poem:

There are little eyes upon you

And they're watching day and night.

There are little ears that quickly take in every word that you say.

There are little hands all eager to do anything you do

And a little child who is dreaming of the day she'll be like you.

You are the little one's idol

The wisest of the wise.

In her little mind about you no suspicions ever rise.

She believes in you devoutly

And holds all you say and do

So that she may do the same when she is grown up just like you.

There's a wide eyed little one

Who believes you're always right

And her eyes are always open watching you day and night.

You are setting an example every day in all you do

For the little one who is waiting to grow up to be just like you.

It doesn't matter if we, or our bigger kids, want to be role models. We are. It is a responsibility that comes with maturity. If we point out that responsibility to our older children, a lot of them will be more aware of their language and actions. They'll raise the bar for themselves -- at least in front of impressionable young kids -- and become better role models.

Little things like language and manners, and bigger things like fessing up, these are qualities that need to be promoted, especially in today's world. Let your bigger kids know how important their actions really are.

And as our young ones strive to become like those cool bigger kids, they'll be striving for something that's truly good.

* This column was made possible through a partnership between Yakima Valley Memorial Hospital Community Education program and Christina McCarthy.