On Parenting: Family finds life after TV not so bad

There are some decisions in life you need to think long and hard about. Do we want to have another child? Can we afford a new house? Do we really want another dog?

Such a topic has come up in our house and my husband and I have been mulling it over for more than a year. There were many instances when we thought we'd made up our minds, but then we'd reconsider. Finally, two weeks ago, we bit the bullet and committed. We canceled the TV dish.

I know. I can hear your gasps way out here in Selah. How will we know what's going on in the world? What if the kids are assigned to watch a program? What will we DO each evening? I've asked myself the same questions, and really, I think we'll be fine.

Without the distraction of TV, homework will be completed without so much fuss. Chores will get done. Kids will go outside and play! And when we choose to watch a movie, it will be "quality entertainment," rather than whatever comes blaring out at us. That's my plan, anyway.

I want you to know, the decision wasn't a rash one. The kids have heard the threat for years. "You watch too much TV! We're gonna cancel the dish!"

In their minds, I think the conversation went something like this, "Blah, blah ... TV. Blah, blah ... go wash your dish."

You see, it's hard to hear and comprehend when you're sitting slack-jawed, staring at the TV. And in our house, that's how TV viewing is: all-consuming. When the TV is on, children can't hear their mother calling. They can't do chores. They can't even come and eat dinner. "No, wait. WAIT! This next part is great!" is what I get after rapping someone on the head to get his or her attention.

And how do they know how great the next part is? Because they have already watched it 43 times! I'm not exaggerating. They know all the words to every Spongebob Squarepants song. They know the punch line to every joke ever told on "iCarly." They even know the order of the commercials!

On our last vacation trip over spring break, Jack began reciting lines from a particularly obnoxious cartoon, "Chowder." Verbatim. Though this show hasn't been on very long, Jack has already learned the ditties and random weird things said in each episode. I told him to quit, and Kennedy, who doesn't like this cartoon, was quick to narc him out every time he quoted the show. Without relying on lines from crappy kids' entertainment, Jack couldn't find much to say.

"Enough," my husband and I said. We quietly talked about really doing it ... pulling that plug. We could get Netflix, and watch programs that we actually selected. The kids could get a movie a week. There would be more time for stuff like emptying the dishwasher and picking up dog poop. People might actually go outside and PLAY!

We returned from our vacation on Sunday. Jack had already plopped himself in front of the TV. Dad was on the phone. Suddenly Jack yelled.

"Hey! Did you just do it? Did you turn it off right in the middle of my show?"

Yup. Apparently it's just a flip of a switch from the dish headquarters.

In about an hour, I heard Jack outside, batting a baseball around. A little while later, I watched him battle invisible ninjas with a stick he found in the yard. He was playing! Yes!

Coming home from work the next day, I heard something on the TV. Since we hadn't yet received our first Netflix, and we have no reception without a hook-up, I wondered what movie they were watching. It turned out to be an old home video of a Christmas morning! I found myself sitting down with them for a few minutes to watch and remember when they were small. Though there wasn't any deep, meaningful plot to "Christmas '04," I think family movies must fall in the "quality" entertainment genre.

We've now begun Netflix, and I had everyone choose a couple of titles. A season of "Chowder" is in the lineup, but with the agreement that Jack only watches it while on the treadmill. I've watched a couple of movies with Michael, and I think Kennedy has a title coming just for her this week.

It seems we can live without the television after all. We haven't yet transformed into a family of yesteryear, when after dinner everyone gathered around for a rousing board game. But Dad has begun teaching Kennedy and Jack how to play poker, and the other day we all read books for a while. And yes, the homework is getting done.

As for the chores: well, at least the kids now can hear me when I yell.

* This column was made possible through a partnership between Yakima Valley Memorial Hospital Community Education program and Christina McCarthy. She is a freelance writer and mother of three children. She and her husband live, work and play in and around Yakima. She can be reached at: kidscount@fairpoint.net.